TESTIMONY PT. 3
Hebrews 12:14-1514. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:15. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;As I stated in the last posting I had defiled or hurt many people as I walked in bitterness all those years. Asking the Lord to forgive and clean me up wasn't going to be all I needed to do. He told me I must go back to many of them and ask for their forgiveness. One very important thing He impressed on me was this truth. Many times we know we must go back to people and make amends or restitution. We charge out and find those people and talk to them and think, If they accept my apology great, and if they don't, well I tried. I did my best. No you haven't. The Lord told me to go to these people, but only when he told me to go to each one, and to listen for the words to say to them, and only say those words. He was working in their lives and only can we say we did our best is after we do it in God timing and with the words he gave us to say.Everyone hears forgiveness in different ways and words.The first thing I had to do was go to my wife and to my children and ask their forgiveness, because I was a mess for most of the kids lives. Then to about six other people from the past I must go. As I was weed eating the back yard on afternoon, the Lord began to speak to me about going to a man named Sonny. I said yea right he would probably shoot me if he saw me on his front porch. The answer was still the same you must talk to him. As i was trimming the yard I looked up and Sonny was coming cross the alley towards me. I shut the weed eater off and he ask me a question and we started talking. A miracle in itself. He was asking about some people that had moved into the neighborhood. As we talked I was listening for the right words to say concerning forgiveness. The Lord told me with Sonny the way he hears I'm sorry will you forgive me is in the word apologise. I said, Sonny we have had a problem for a while. I did some things that I shouldn't concerning you. He said, I know I've wanted to kill you for at least four years. ( It was bad between us ) ( real bad ) I said to him that I was not that person anymore. I guess he could see that word apologise was about to come out. He said forget it that is water under the bridge. ( He did not want to hear that word come from me because it would then take the burden off me and force him to make a decision concerning the situation.I told him no it is not water under the bridge, and I want to apologise for my actions of the past. He looked at me and stared at me for a moment and the said OK... We talked for a long time and have been like brothers ever since. He has asked me to watch his house when he is gone. My apology placed a choice for him to make. To accept it or to reject it. He accepted it and it was awesome. Whichever way he went in his choice to accept or reject my apology, I could truly say I did all I could do, because I listened for the words to say and said them. I didn't have to wait for when to go because he came to me. He was ready.One of the others I needed to go to came a little later at a store. The Lord said now is the time just go up to him and start talking as if nothing ever happened between you at all. ( He had a chainsaw cranked up and was yelling for me to come out of the house. He was mad at me for something I had done. I came out with a rifle and we then each went back into our houses. ) Bitterness defiles many and many had I defiled. It was bad in those bitter years. And now the Lord was telling me to just walk up and start talking to him as if nothing ever happened between us. He said this man sees forgiveness in that act of walking up to him and talking as if the past never happened. I did just that and stood in that store and talked and talked like had never missed a step .. In every case I went back to the people the Lord told me to go too. I listened and said what the Lord said to say. And all of them gave me the forgiveness I was seeking. We are all friends. I know you won't always get 100% good results like I did, but if you just rush into it and not listen for what to say and when to go you sure won't get 100% good results. Doing it in God's way and God's time is the only way you can say I did all I can do.I was restored in Christ and restored to the people I had hurt in the past. Now I needed to get back into the Word and get a foundation and build a good solid mature Christian out of myself and go on to teach others as God had called me to do.